fear or love, baby

Let's talk about the things we love. Big and small-- I love to know what people could talk about for hours, what makes them get that little excitement in their voice and sparkle in their eye.

For me, it’s things little things like musicals, rewatching my favorite shows 12 times instead of starting the new ones that have been on my watchlist since the 10th grade, superhero movies, my incessant need to get a $7 coffee every time I leave the house, marvel cast funny moments— have I exposed myself enough? But it's also things I feel passionate about, like storytelling, whether it's through written word or on screen.

Most recently, my little obsession is the movie Tick, Tick... Boom. Yes, Lin Manuel Miranda's directorial debut about the life of the incredible Jonathan Larson starring Andrew Garfield. I live with the soundtrack on repeat, you guys that movie made me feel things. I have 30/90 blasting in my headphones as we speak, and I could talk about the closing number probably for the rest of my life. Give it all the Oscars, I mean it.

But most of you don't care, do you. What about my other current favorite-- Spider-man. (No spoilers in case you're one of the three people on earth who hasn't seen it). But y'all No Way Home was everything to me!!!! There's this one scene of Tom Holland in the rain that cuts between a tight close up of his rain-soaked face and a wide shot from behind of his suit against a giant screen-- the perfect contrast between the man and the superhero and what that means for Peter Parker's character I mean UGH I could talk about it all day. And getting to see it opening night in a full theater with people cheering and screaming and crying-- I will never ever forget it.

But most of you probably don't care that much about Spider-man either. Here's the thing about both of the things I just mentioned: there are people who like it whole lot less than I do, and there are people who love it a whole lot more than I do. A lot of people hate movie musicals! Yet I know there's someone somewhere pissed that they knew every word to the original Tick, Tick... Boom in the 90s and people now just don't get it. It's the same for Marvel films-- maybe they aren't "cinema," or maybe you have been reading Spider-man comics since the womb and I am completely unworthy to even have seen it. Everybody has opinions! And that is kind of beautiful. I think it's important that we all feel differently about different art. It's, in a way, what makes it art in the first place.

Now I'm using films to make my point, because it's what I love. As I enter my fourth semester of film school, so much of what I love about it is getting to be surrounded by people who share my love for movies. It is so much fun to bond with a stranger over a shared love for an old classic or excitement for a brand new blockbuster. I think anything that brings people together that way is so special.

To me, listening to someone talk about something or someone they love is the most beautiful part of life. I mean truly, I think I could listen to people talk about anything if it's something they're passionate about it. There’s this look people get, this excitement in their voices that just fills my heart like absolutely nothing else. I see it in my parents when they talk about their work-- they both love when they can help people. My sister when she tells me about jokes with her best friends that I don’t understand. My best friend when she tells me about a new piece of music she’s learning, using technical terms I pretend to know. Even my astronomy professor when he lectures about spectroscopy (no, I still do not know what that means). Watching their eyes light up, because it’s something that makes them happy, even if it’s nothing I know a single thing about— it’s magic. 

However, I do think sometimes this joy can feel judged-- it's where we get the term "guilty pleasures." In media studies courses this is often talked about by comparing the fan bases of musicians and sports teams. Harry Styles, for example, has a global fan base. They stream his music, attend his shows, and buy his merchandise (and by they I mean me). Now compare that to say, fans of the New Orleans Saints. They watch/attend their games, follow their progress, and buy their merchandise (Once again, me). Yet, somehow, these two groups often seem to be polar opposites of each other. Perhaps, even a little judgmental toward one another. "He's just a guy." "It's just a game." Well, yes. But these little loves bring a lot of people together. They make a lot of people smile. And I think it's really important that we let people love things. I could give examples forever-- like Emily in Paris. Is it a "good" show? No. Film twitter has a field day with that one. But have I seen every episode? Of course, IT'S FUN TO WATCH. (Netflix, if you're reading this, I'm kidding. Hire me?)

As a fan of both music and football, I genuinely hope my sister and I never stop staying up all night for new Harry songs, although it sounds silly to most. I hope my dad and I never stop cheering (or agonizing) over the Saints, even if it is "just a game." I hope I still cry at Tick, Tick... Boom, and countdown to every new Spider-man film, even if people love to hate them. I do kind of hope I get over the $7 coffee thing, but hey you win some you lose some. 

These little pleasures--big or small-- are part of what makes life enjoyable, I think. What I'm trying to say here, is that I hope we never let the opinions of others cloud the joy that these things bring us. Your favorite movie doesn't need an Oscar to be your favorite, it can just be your favorite because you like it.

At the end of the day, we can love what we love, or allow ourselves to continue to refer to them as "guilty" pleasures for fear of judgement. Fear or love, baby. 

That was a pretty poetic tie back in to Tick, Tick... Boom for the three of you that got it. If you didn't, the message is still the same. You should go watch it though, you'll love it. Or maybe you won't. And that's okay too-- it is art after all.