it’s ok if you don’t like the beach (& other life changing revelations)

They're not actually life changing but I'm sure you already knew that.

I'm currently crammed in the back seat of our car with both of my siblings and all of our backpacks (yes it’s as bad as it sounds but ig it’s worth it) as we drive five hours from Panama City to New Orleans. Through a hurricane. Yep. Its fine we’re fine. Okay I’m making this sound horrible and that’s not at all what I’m trying to say- this really has been the best week. Just not really this part.

I’ve spent the last seven days watching sunsets and getting sunburnt (sunburned??? I never know) and it was so so happy.

Anyways this week has given me a LOT of time to think. Maybe too much. And what do I do when I’m overthinking??? Bug you all with those thoughts. 

So here’s some things I’ve had on my mind this week. 

1. I don’t actually like the beach that much

OK BEFORE YOU YELL HEAR ME OUT. I love being at the beach. Like waking up and drinking coffee and doing my devotional while I watch the waves- heaven. Walking on the beach in sweatshirts while the sun sets- also heaven. but I think I’ve finally realized that lugging ice chests and floaties and sunscreen all the way down to the beach and dripping in sweat and sand sticking to you and swimming with jellyfish (I saw one the other day so i’m never getting in the ocean again)- it’s just not my cup of tea. AND I WANT IT TO BE SO BAD. I want sooo bad to be like all the girls on vsco with those signs that say “sand in my shower means i had a good day🤙🏼🤙🏼🤪” but I’m just... not. Sand in the shower is so annoying!!!! And you know what that’s okay!!! I still went down to the beach and spent time with my family, I just limited my time there a little, spent a little extra time at the pool, had an extra bowl of coco puffs upstairs while they went down a early. And you know what I had a great time!!!! 

Okay yes this realization is kind of stupid. But in a way it’s also huge for me to feel like I know something about myself enough to make changes based on it to contribute to my own happiness. I’m not sure that makes sense and trust me I know I’m being dramatic (if you can’t handle dramatic you came to the wrong place) but it was nice to take my time in the morning and not be in a rush to get down to the sand to sweat and not really enjoy myself. 

And maybe going to the beach less is a dumb example but I think we can apply this to so many areas of our lives. Like sometimes the last thing you feel like doing is going out with your friends. So don’t. If you know you’re not going to be fun literally don’t go. Now I’m not saying to repeatedly blow off plans or that you'll never have to do anything you don’t want to, I’m just saying that sometimes you have to find little things you can do to benefit your own happiness. If you want a night to yourself take it. If you want an extra cookie eat it. If you want a venti instead of a grande today order it. Sometimes we need little things for ourselves, and I don't think it's a bad thing to take them.

2. Life is SO exciting right now

Really it is. I’m getting ready, as many of you are, to start my senior year of high school. I’m writing college application essays and uhhh freaking out. Everything feels like its coming so fast and I can’t quite wrap my head around how much is going to be changing in the next year and a half. And that terrifies me!! But as I’ve spent hours worrying about this over the past week, I’ve kind of realized how exciting this season of life is. The uncertainty is really scary, but in a lot of ways it’s so so exciting that we all get to take the next step in creating our own paths you know? Like pretty soon we’ll be buying prom dresses and graduation caps and then we’ll all be scattered across the country opening new chapters. Like how crazy is that??? It just makes me realize that this next year is going to be so much fun and we all really have to soak up every moment because we won’t have them for long. When I think about high school ending I realize how much I love friday night football games (even if after 2 weeks I’m exhausted and ready for it to be over) and my after school coffee runs with my friends when we know we won’t be sleeping that night (algebra I will not miss u. but I’ve heard you might be sticking around) and just being kids. I feel like there’s so much to stress about in high school and there’s so many times I hate it and cry because I’m so overwhelmed but we really are just kids. In the grand scheme of life I don’t think it’s as bad as we think it is while we’re in it. And while I’m not the best at taking the advice I’m about to give- I think this year we all need to just enjoy it. One day we might wish we were back in high school crying over research papers at 2am. Probably not. But maybe. 

I guess I’m just saying that life is flying by y’all. We’re all growing up and heading our separate ways in the very near future. So let’s make senior year something special, we’ll never get this time back!!!! 

And i’m working real hard to take my own advice on this one. I promise I know it’s not easy. 

3. Ethma is real

I haven’t actually thought about this that much. but after that paparazzi video I’m convinced. Let’s discuss.

4. Instagram is not that deep

Stop laughing I’M SERIOUS. I know you’re laughing at this coming from me but hear me out. I put more effort than I would care to admit into my Instagram. The editing, the feed, the captions I take hours to come up with and they’re not even good. And while it’s obviously not something that’s important, it’s fun for me! When I get a good picture and can put my indyxtristen lightroom presets on it and barely have to adjust anything!!! That’s gold baby. Or when I finally decide on a caption that I think is hilarious (I know I’m the only one laughing ok). I like Instagram. But for a long time I’ve put wayyyy too much value into the validation that comes from it. I feel like my posts are “good” when they hit a certain number of likes or I get enough “SO CUTE🤩” comments. And don’t me wrong- I think it’s okay to feel good about yourself when someone comments heart eyes on your summer vacation photos (y’all know who you are, we hype each other up). But I don’t think we should put so much weight on it that we’re sad when we get less comments or likes than usual. If I’m proud of the picture and it doesn’t get “enough” likes or heart eyes does that mean I stop being proud?? It shouldn’t right?? But lately it has. So I’ve decided that enough is enough and I’m only posting things that make me happy. Who cares about likes? Not me. But sis that’s easier said than done. 

I posted this photo recently:

 with the caption “rain or shine baby #feltcutemightdeletelater” 

Is this a good well lit perfectly taken instagram photo??? Nope. Actually it’s a photo I texted my mom. Is that caption funny at all?? Nope. BUT I LIKE IT. That concert was so much fun. We danced in the rain screaming Thomas Rhett songs all night and we had a good! time! And that was one of the only photos I took that entire night. Before I posted it I debated for hours if it was stupid or if people might make fun of me. But I finally came to a conclusion: I don’t care. I liked the picture and I liked the memories and that’s what’s important! And you know what it did get less likes than some of my other photos and that’s okay!!!! (ofc i still check- this is very much a new concept for me).

Think of it like this. When you like someone else’s photo how much thought are you really putting into it? Hardly any right? So why do we put so much value in the number of people who mindlessly double tap our pictures? I don’t actually know the answer to that question but I’m really working on not putting so much weight on Instagram. It’s just not that deep.

5. We have a lot to be thankful for

We’re sooo blessed you guys. Life is hard sometimes and we all have struggles but at the end of the day we are SO blessed to live the lives we were given. So I’ll leave you with a list of five things I’m thankful for, hopefully encouraging you to do the same. Anything. Big, small, silly. I wanna hear it!!! It’s good to remind ourselves how blessed we are, somehow it always makes my problems feel a little smaller. 

I’m grateful for...

• the loving family & friends surrounding me
• a God that loves us unconditionally 
• good coffee
• sunsets
• Tom Holland as Spiderman

Leave yours here or in my Instagram comments or on your mirror or in your diary!!! (I promise it makes you smile. and I really want to know!!! but if they're just for your diary that's ok too.)

If any of you finished this I’m..... eternally grateful.

LETS NOT GO TO THE BEACH AND LOVE LIFE AND STALK ETHMA AND NOT CARE ABOUT LIKES AND BE GRATEFUL FOREVER OKAY

thanks.

xoxo, em

“God’s mercies are new every morning” Lam 3:22-23

(tell me what you're thankful for pls so I don't feel stupid. thanks love u)